Lets Kill Buddha

Blog: NO dude. No killing on this blog. And even if you wanna kill then kill that twitter thing. It's the silliest thing to happen to the world wide web and yet it has gained so much publicity. Everyone is tweeting now. No one cares about a good old blog like me.

Atul: Don't be jealous of Twitter, it will either eventually die or will be bought by Facebook or something and get a total makeover. And anyways, I was not gonna kill anyone. It's just a koan.

Blog: What is a Koan? Well, never mind, let me check out here.

Atul: So the koan I am talking about is: If you meet the Buddha, kill him.

Blog: I love it. I love cheesy movies and I love cheesy koans. This is the cheesiest of all!! Gets your attention right away! So what do you think it means?

Atul: It means a lot of things. Each one of them is 'true' because anyways there is no 'true' meaning of a koan. To put it mathematically there are MxN solutions of a koan, where is the number of people and n is their personal versions of it.

Blog: Alright, so here we have your subset of it!! Cool. Go ahead.

First: Buddha here represents religion. Any religion, be it even Buddhism, hinders your path to enlightenment. Buddha never wanted to start a new religion, he instead wanted every one to find his own religion. He was not God, I made him God and I started following Buddhism. While all Buddha wanted was me to follow 'Atulism'. So yes, kill that Buddha and find your own personal religion.

Second: Our concept of Buddha is a borrowed concept. What ever we know about him, is through books and through people who claim they know him. But we don't know who he actually was, what motivated him and how he was enlightened. If he received 'Gyaana' sitting under the Bodhee tree, or when he saw a funeral, it's just him. You may 'get it' while dancing in a club on a Saturday night or while ..... well solving this Koan!

Third: Buddha stands for enlightenment itself. On your road to Nirvana, when ever you feel that you are enlightened, take a step back, and tell yourself that you are not! The search for truth is a never ending search. And it's not the destination that matters, but the path itself.

Fourth and my favorite solution: The Buddha stands for the solution of Koan itself. When ever you find one solution, well ...

Blog: I know I know, keep on looking for other answers!

Atul: Exactly. Each one will be personal and will make you realize something else!

Blog: You know what, even I have learned something from this Koan. The technology will get enlightenment the day Artificial intelligence can solve Koans. Until then, don't be satisfied with your technological advancements and keep on inventing new stuff!

What did you do last weekend?

Atul: Hey blog, what's up!

Blog: Huh? Why? What are you doing here?

Atul: What do you mean, what I am doing here? I just felt like talking to you.

Blog: But, today is Sunday. On Sunday, humans go out and do THINGS. I have heard they go for camping, kayaking, hiking and what not in summer and even in winters they at least go for skiing. And a party every Saturday night is bare minimum. But then you may be a lower breed homo sapien, who just sits on his ass on a Sunday morning and talks to his blog.

Atul: You are talking like my Office colleagues, whose last question on a Friday evening is 'what are you doing this weekend?' and first question on a Monday morning is 'what did you do you last weekend?' I feel so awkward saying 'Well, nothing planned', ' May go for a movie' or 'stayed at home, watched TV' etc. I have started feeling guilty if I actually don't do anything on a weekend now.

Blog: And you should feel guilty. Do you know my cousin 'facebook.com'? He did an unscientific survey, and said that more than 30% of feeds on him are in 'What I did last weekend' category. With people who had seen movies, posting movie reviews and others posting pics from that Rock concert that they attended.

Atul: I know. And that's why sometimes I even hate weekends.

Blog: Hushhhhhh .. It's just between you and me. Don't tell this to anyone, people will think you are crazy. Especially all those people, who have their status message on Monday saying 'Monday blues :(' and on Friday saying 'Yipeeee ... Finally weekend is here'. Even their weekdays are obsessed with weekends. But tell me why do you hate weekends?

Atul: One problem I have with a weekend is that, the guy who invented the concept of a week, who the hell gave him the right to make it for 7 days. Why do I need 2 days off after 5, Why can't I have 4 days off after 10, or 1 day off after 3. Why do I and everyone has to follow the idiosyncrasies of a single man. Because I don't see any scientific reasoning behind it a 7 day week. If I had invented week, my week will be 15 days, 10 days nonstop work, 5 day holiday.

Blog: You can't do anything about it, can you? So just suck it up! What else?

Atul: My main problem with a weekend is that earlier only on new year eve or my birth day, I will realize that 'Oh my God, one year has passed away and now I am one one year closer to death'.
But with this weekend thing, every Sunday night, I review my week and see the time passing away and realize that 'Oh my God, one more weekend gone from my life, and all I did on Saturday night was watched an episode of Rakhi Sawant ka Sawamwar'.

Blog: dude, really? This confirms everything, any one (if he is not deaf and blind) who has ever been able to sit through complete episode of that show is indeed a lower breed homo sapien.