Peace is a piece of shit ..

I am writing this on the day when 7 bomb blasts took place on the life line of the commercial capital of India, Bombay.

And this has reinforced my conviction that peace is an illusion. It is just a word created so that every year some fuck head can get a Nobel prize for peace. Have you ever seen the pigeon which is the symbol of peace? The shit of that pigeon is called peace.

Has there ever been a time in the entire history of human race when we have not been on war?
Is there any epic or any great book in the world which is not the glorification of war?
Do you know of any single nation, community or civilization that didn't have an army?
No, the answer is NO. Because there has never been peace and there will never be.

Messengers of peace will keep on coming and we will keep on killing them. Jesus Christ, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King .. we will kill them all.
I some times pity these people that they didn't realize the truth that Peace and Harmony are an impossibility. But Napoleon, Alexandar, Hitler, Bin laden, they knew it. And they have become immortal, so what if they won't get a statue of their own, or won't get a street named after them: 'Laden Ganj', 'Hitler Nagar'.

I have all my sympathies for the people who died in this blast. But when I see the greater picture, I realize that I have to reserve some sympathies for the people who will be killed in another bomb blast in Delhi. Its a recurring event, which will keep on occurring. Just like I get common cold twice every year.

'Mumbai back on track' - this will be the headline after 2 days. 'This is the spirit of the great city Mumbai' - news commentator on NDTV will say. Spirit of Mumbai Bull Shit. Its the normal Human instinct to go on, which has been at work for so many days.

And one day, even I will die .. errr .. be killed in a similar blast. And when the guy who will collect my dismembered arm and legs is telling the news reporter that "I was the one who collected so many dead bodies, there was no police", there will be three young kids in the back ground unable to stop their smile for being on TV.

Football and Sex !!

Got you. This entry has nothing to do with sex. I thought that if I will mention only football, no ones gonna read. So I put in sex in the title. If you are disappointed and don’t want to read further then go visit debonairblog.com. Rest read on!

So football, there was a match between Germany and Argentina. I was favoring Germany (don’t ask me why, you just got to root for some team) and I was really glad that Germany won. As for records, I shouted really hard when Germany equalized in 80^th minute, shouted hard, this time clapping too on all the penalties that germany took and argentina missed. And when finally germany had won, I performed a step or two of Bhangra. That’s it. But one of my friends whose favorite team is Argentina, he COULD NOT SLEEP THAT DAY. Its not that he is more of a football fanatic than me, because there was a time when even I could not digest the innings defeats of India by South Africa. I kept on ruminating on the match, why don’t we Indians perform on foreign pitches, why can’t we handle pressure in crux situations? It’s the same old story.

The reason is that we take wins for granted and don’t accept losses. And this is not really only about sports, this is about every other aspect of your life.

You don’t get a good raise, you say you were wronged or unlucky. You get it, you always deserved it.

Your woman / man ditches you, you cry your head off, when they are not, you take them for granted.

Stock market, you win some money, you throw a small party, you loose, you commit suicide.

Always, any incident if not favorable will incite a reaction more in magnitude than if it was favorable as is manifested in the football example. (huh, sounds like a theorem).

All right, this is one thing that we love to cry over our misery more than we love to be happy. But going back to my initial e.g. why is that we are more interested in germany or argentina but not in FOOTBALL. In football, since India is not there, there is a possibility that we actually see football but in cricket, it’s a BIG lie that India loves cricket. This is a common statement from any average Indian cricket fan “What ever happens, Pakistan should not win”. And we call it love for cricket?

If I were going to give a Geeta Updesh, this is what I will say. If you are a player, then fight as if it was a matter of life and death and if you loose then join the winning team’s party. And if you are a spectator then just enjoy the beautiful game called life, oops I mean football!!

Super Man's girl friend ..

This is a striking similarity between superman, bat man and the spider man. You have mary Watson who doesn’t love peter parker but loves spider man. And whats-her-name-who-loves-batman or let me say Nicole kidmann, who loves batman but not the real one and then you have this latest whats-her-name-who-gives-birth-to-superman-kid but doesn’t love the bespectacled Clarke?

Then you have all the princesses who waited and finally met their Prince Charmings who were not less than any super heroes. Why is that, this concept has been accepted by people from so long? I can see two reasons.

Super man is the alter ego of a Male. This male is a normal guy, decent looking, good humored, kind hearted, hard working. But he has that inner most urge to be more than that. He wants to save the world from evil, he wants to be popular, he wants girls to drool over him, actually one in particular! And he wants to be every other thing that makes him perfect. Hence he creates a super hero, as I said to satisfy his alter ego.

But what about the spider man’s girl friend? What does she represent? She represents the age old saying that “The women are never satisfied”. They are always looking for that prince charming which alas they never find except in movies. They want the guy to be witty, but when he lampoons her, she becomes insecure and says “mera mazaak kyon udaate rahte ho”. TWTGTB (short for they want the guy to be) sporty, but won’t discuss the form of sachin tendulkar: “cricket, cricket, cricket, aur kuch soojhta nahin hai kya tumhein”. TWTGTB intelligent and aware but will never discuss the Indian policy over LTTE: “Mujhe kya karna hai ki sri lanka mein kya ho raha hai”. TWTGTB to be self dependent and have a personality of his own, but wont allow you to wear a black shirt with a black jean: “matching kapde to tumhein pehanne hi nahin aate”.

Ok Ok, I will stop here, other wise I will be accused of plagiarizing from the song “ladke not equal to ladkiyan” from Hum Tum which I was NOT.

So coming back to the original topic, I want to mention one consistency which I so dearly love. And that is the James Bond’s girl friends. He has a new girl friend in every movie, infact three. One of them will be in the first scene when james bond will receive the secret-new-mission message. Other will be an accomplice and will join forces with him, yeah yeah helly berry, and the third one will turn out to be a vamp, you will come to know this in the later half of the movie. So we are going to have a new james bond, I hope he is as good as brosnan.

Why the world does NOT need Super Man !

This is a review of the movie “Super Man Returns”. And I have all the inner dope on it which I will share with you. Anyone who has not seen this movie please read this review so that you can be enlightened and instead of watching the movie you can spend the evening watching the pathetic re runs of “Indian glorious moments in cricket” on ESPN. And in case you have seen this movie and are out of shock then this review will give you more insight and news.

Ekta kapoor has finally accepted that she was the back ground director of this movie. And that’s why you see such a slow paced, boring, mellow dramatic far too stretched movie. On her debut on holly wood she was unavailable for comments but the whole movie fraternity is involved in solving the puzzle: Where is the K of Ekta Kapoor in “Superman Returns”.

Kevin Spacey, yes I know you can’t believe that was it really Kevin spacey? The same guy who acted in The American Beauty, the usual suspects? How can he deliver such a DUD performance? But reportedly, Kevin spacey was suffering from CONSTIPATION while doing this role. And not only this, he was letting go such bad air on the sets that no one, including his side kicks concentrate on acting.

George Bush, after watching the premiere remarked that this movie has betrayed the whole nation. “How can you make a movie with out any reference to Islamic terrorists?” said he. But apparently the reason why he saw the movie was for the latest fashion cues on the art of wearing underwear. For all of those who don’t know he has been featuring in a Times of India daily comic strip “Dubyaman” for quite some time now.

And for the super man himself, he has been missing ever since the movie released. But I just came to know that he has been kidnapped by the other super heroes aka Spider Man, Bat Man and a whole bunch of X Men. The reason they give is that Super Man is a big threat to the fan following these super heroes enjoy. They are afraid that if Super Man gives one more such movie, people will stop watching their movies and they will out of job.

On a personal note, I will say that Krish, which is really a bad movie is much better than Super Man. I want to congratulate Rakesh Roshan on this. Hrithik looks so much better and charming. Its difficult for a Bollywood movie to match the standards of Hollywood in terms of special effects, but none the less we have to keep trying. And Krish is a good attempt.

As a final word, I will say that only those people who are suffering from sleep deficiency should go to watch this movie. Its worth 100 rupees in that context.